before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
