Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
