You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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