i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
She's the barista slut.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
