BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
This house was built for laser tag.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I'm getting married
To pizza
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
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