ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
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