Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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