I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Randomize
