Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize
