so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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