when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
