Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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