I never want to see another naked old woman again.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize