Your mouth is God's brothel.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
no more duck duck goose at the bar
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Randomize
