Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Randomize
