is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
