your thong is hanging out like whoa
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
