I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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