im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
This couple is walking their pig around campus
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Randomize
