Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
