Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
