i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
The power of my boobs compel you
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize