i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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