i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
So vagazzling was a success
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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