FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
