so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
