Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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