When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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