Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(509): View more from Washington

Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol

(661): View more from California

HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator

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(707): View more from California

I haven't been laid since Bush was president.

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(765): View more from Indiana

I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..

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(308): View more from Nebraska

Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?

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(404): View more from Georgia

I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.

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(501): View more from Arkansas

There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.

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(775): View more from Nevada

He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...

(1-570): View more from Pennsylvania

your aware she lit herself on fire, right?

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