She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
