I think im going to throw up on grandma
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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