im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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