Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
