oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
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