Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
