he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
