dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
my shit smells like andre
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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