we have pet lesbian snakes
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize