one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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