I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Randomize
