Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
