I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
