You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
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