at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
