Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Randomize
