My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Randomize
