Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Randomize
