so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
