Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
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