The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
