Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
