Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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