The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
do nipples grow back?
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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