if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
