Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
