But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Randomize
